So, it was my second meeting of Management Accounting class. And in this second meeting, I have some opinions about the Lecturer. Well, they are negative and I want you, readers and commentators, which one you take side.

Okay, I’ll tell you the condition from the first minute I enter the class. I was picking a table that positioned behind the table that lies right in front of the lecturer desk (I hope you get it, it’s the second table in front of the lecturer desk). This table is my favorite because I can see the lecturer easily and also the slide from the projector pretty clear without having my head to be lifted. In the next 30 seconds, I notice that there are nobody’s going to take a seat beside me. Well, I’m not in anybody’s group anyway. There are 2008 students that I know and they chose some seats that I can say, pretty far for me to start conversation to them. Maybe they judged me a nerd already. Hell! I have no idea!

And the students in the same years of mine took the seats next to me but divided by a way. So basically, it’s near but it also gives you enough psychology effect of being hard to start conversation. Then another minute went and a couple of 2008 girl came in and took the seats one chair away from me. The message I received is that they don’t want to be the ones to be Oh-so-friendly-person. I won’t be the one too then. And I did.

5 minutes later, an unexpected guy came in. Well, he was a guy that I’d like to talk with before. And for some reasons, we’re not that close anymore. I thought he would fulfill the blank space beside me and we could repair the tense relation, but no he didn’t.

“Okay!” I said in my mind. It’s not a talk about him anyway, so my comment will ends the attendance events.

But no!! A super unexpected guy was coming in 5-10 minutes later. He is a 2006 student that I can say is a super-lazy-and-don’t-care-about-academic-things person. Well, what should I say for a guy who took some subjects for more than 2-3 times and never passed them by only attend the final exam!!!

And I guess that was the last thing to say about class-entering events. And I’ll tell you that I didn’t get any companions till the class was ended.

So, in the next 30 minutes the lecturer was explaining about types of cost while we’re having discussion. I’m pretty active in the class and I answered all of his, the lecturer’s, questions except the last one since I didn’t pay any attention to the question. The next 10 minutes he talked about the relation of price, cost, and net profit. Then he talked for 5 minutes about the deduction of price with variable cost. From that point I can guess that he’s going to talk about BEP (Break Even Point). So I asked my friend who brought the book what’s the topic below the table (he explain things in table). I noticed a title of sub-topic, “Break Even Point”.

“Sure I’m right,” I said in my mind.

Next 5 minutes I watched over the slide and heard (not listen) the lecturer voice with blank senses.

When he started for another discussion, he asked us, “How many products the company needs to produce so they will reach zero profit (BEP)?”

I think and calculated the numbers written on the whiteboard and answered in the next 10-15 seconds after the question was asked, “Sixty thousands units, Sir!” with a loud voice.

“Sixty thousands units? Not even close,” he replied.

“What!!! It’s true you, Idiot!” of course I shouted that only in my mind and I think the expression of my face that time was pretty obvious saying the words.

“Fifty four thousands, Sir?” answered my friend in doubt tone.

With an Oh-I’m-a-very-comical-person expression he said, “Uhm… maybe around that number.”

“Fuck you, stupid!” I cursed him, the lecturer, in my mind.

He then clicked the slide and opened a new slide that said the answer is SIXTY THOUSANDs units of fucking product!

I coughing pretty loud with intention to give him an allusion. And you know what?

“It appears that the correct answer is sixty thousands! Bla… bla… bla…” he said by took the answer of mine is the wrong sixty fucking thousands and is a different with the sixty fucking thousands written on the slide. And if he taught or misheard that I said fuckin SIXTEEN THOUSANDs, I would consider him as a deaf idiot! I swear God that he repeated my answer with six-fucking-ty thousands.

I said pretty loudly replying what he said, “Like I said something else…” with bad tone and I guess he pretends didn’t hear me. I was really upset in the class while the class got pretty crowd and in my mind they were laughing at what just happened and I assume they talk of how poor I am! Damn shit! I know it doesn’t matter what others think about you, but I never want to have others look me down or laugh over me.

I left the room with an intention to shout a curse. Well, thanks God I didn’t! It seems that I still have the last rationality to prevent me doing so.

I came back to the class with half intention listening to the lecturer who was still explaining the theory to the idiots who passed the Introductory and Cost Accounting class but still can’t answer the question and nodding to the stupid lecturer.

He asked the students if they have something to ask. One of a friend raised his hand and asked him a question. I misunderstand the question and I thought the lecturer wasn’t give him the correct answer.

So I said, “Sir, I’m sorry but I think what he wants to ask you about the amount of unit to be produce to get the optimum profit?”

My friend said, “Actually no,” the people were laughing over me! Hell I hate it! “I asked you bla… bla… bla…” I didn’t get what he said again and then still couldn’t understand the answer given by the lecturer.

To the laughing people I told them, “No… no… no… If it’s not true, it’s my fault then.” Basically I want to tell them to tolerate me of being active and care about the lecturing process, and their laugh just a fucking very bad attitude done by idiots making others afraid being wrong in class and avoid them from answering questions! I was right anyway; the asker was revising his question though?

Some couple slides later I was pissed off. I tried to be rational again and calm the tone of my voice. Other session needing class participation came out. There were some statements made by him that he hates Accounting. He wrote some numbers of 18,000 divided by 0.30 and another division of 60,000 with 0.30 also. He could answer the first division that is 60,000 by the previous action (when he starts made me look down over him). The second division was answered by a student of 2008 that I know pretty well. He said, “On hundred eighty thousand!” and yes without -s. And in the same time I told him that no it’s not, it’s 200,000!

He has to sum the results of both divisions. He asked the class how much. I didn’t give a shit. No one answered. Then he took his PDA and I assumed he used the calculator tool in it while said “I’m not a good in accounting.”

“Oh sure! I can tell” I replied pretty loud so people in radius 1-2 meters from me can hear it. Since that event, I already fixed the words about him in my mind, deaf-can’t count-idiot.

Couple minutes later he asked a question to some friends who are stupid enough that cannot answer the question. I know the exact answer and the reason.

The next he asked us, “What time is it? When is the class should be finished?”

Pretty fast I answered, “Now” some people said the same thing while laughing, “Seriously, now!” I continued what I said before and the people were laughing considered what I said a joke.

“No, I’m serious. I don’t know when should this class done,” said the lecturer while smiling.

I opened the schedule and told him “Five twenty! You still have twenty minutes left.”

In the next 20 minutes I answered a question about a new case of what he has explained. I answered it just 3 seconds after he asked us. He asked me the reason. I told him and he counted while looking at the slide. “Excellent! Well done! Excellent!” he said.

“You should said it from like an hour ago, you foolish moron!” with grin I said that in my mind.

Some not-really-that-important things happened and the class then ended. So, what will you say and whose side will you be? Mine or the lecturer? Tell me why!

So……………

My mom just got a new motor-cycle (because my Pa bought her). It was Supra X 125R (If I’m not mistaken). I was going to put the picture here… but oh… maybe later… (what a pity if I waste the capacity given by WordPress to upload a picture of motorcycle here…)

And I tried it about two days ago… The experience was a WOW! The current motor-cycle I use is Honda – Astrea Prima (which was stated the best motor cycle made by Honda “kaskus.com”). So, I experienced a huge different comparison of speed from an old motor-cycle with a brand new one. It was a speed test I did along the way from Jalan Kaliurang KM 12 to KM 7. The acceleration was extraordinary (since my ordinary was 60 kmph in ± 500 meters).

That time I was realized why so many people could say that “speed is one favorite toy for boys”. Yeah… I was one who is not familiar with speed as a toy. Not even when I was a boy… Maybe there is time for every boy to have the characteristic of man.

Eh… then, the title was about walking… so here you go…

Yesterday, the motor-cycle of my dad got tire leak. And bla… bla… bla… I have to pick him up by using the Colt (local term to call the Mass Transport). I was amazed sitting in it looking outside the window. The view that I passed through everyday but never really look at them. So once again, I was amazed by the view that I passed everyday….

I was go down for about ± 1 kilometer from the site. I walked…. Believe me… you should try to abandon your vehicle sometime and take a walk. You’ll be amazed (just like me) how beautiful your surrounds could be…

Last message (Indonesian saying) …

“Gajah di pelupuk mata tak tampak,

kutu di seberang lautan terlihat jelas.”

*you don’t see an elephant right in front your eyes, while you can see a bug across the sea clearly.*

Eh….. I got A-!!!!

Mwuahahahaha……. I’m so proud of myself!!!!

That’s it!

It happened just in front of my own nose and there is nothing I can do. I hate myself for doing nothing about it and just let my self taken along in it. The first experience of me, in corrupting (this is my confession for all of those who did the same), was in the Junior High School. You know that the pocket money of a student just never enough? At least it happens to me. And I am sure that you know how teens want to get more attention from their peers by being and acting exclusive (I feel stupid already)?

So, to get the image that I came from one wealthy family, I should have enough pocket money and enough spending to support (give result) the image. And how did I find the financial source for the project? I found the opportunity to raise additional pocket money from the semester books expenses (I know I try to make it Economic-like). The proposals that received by the Financial Department (read = my mother) for books purchasing was lifted for about IDR 500 to 1,500 for LKS and upward IDR 5,000 for text books. Just for your info, an additional of IDR 500 for a week is a premium additional for my pocket (the daily pocket money back then was IDR 500/school day), but today, the pocket money of an elementary school student who still in the 2^nd grade has reached IDR 10,000 per day. What a waste of money….

Well, that was my first attempt of corruption (which kept happening until I graduated from High School). Being honest, telling you what happened in my past beside it is a little embarrassing, it just lifted my mood up from the hate of corruption habit. So the second paragraph could tell you how the corruption was being crystallized with the daily life of us (do not be worry or hesitant, I represent all of us) or in Englished-Bahasa, bleed and fleshed (mendarah daging, Bahasa).

So, the main reason why I write it is that I cannot keep it just in my mind about what have happened around me. The first experience of mine in corruption act toward the society system was my bike-driving license (SIM C). Different with others, how I managed to get my driving license was by nembak (bribing, local term); and by doing it all I have to do in the Police Dept was get in the line for having my face captured by the camera there and went home without a single touch to the field where the real test held.

Another experience was when I lost my wallet and made the report for it. Just after I finished reported what I lost and everything the officer asked me, he then asked me for administration fee.

When I asked him “Berapa, Pak? (How much it cost, Officer?)”

He answered, “Seikhlasnya saja… (Up to you…)”

I got confused for 5 seconds and nodded for a sign of understanding, and then grope a piece of IDR 10,000 in my pocket. Me and my uncle were looked each other and smiled for couple seconds in the way out from the office.

That was another contribution of mine toward the corruption in the society system. And believe me, since that experience I have promised my self not to have any businesses with the policemen (anyone?) to avoid from me giving more contributions toward the corruption in the society systems.

The recent that just happened and made me write this was about the distribution of LPG and the gas-stove for the government program of gas conversion. So the story began couple months ago.

There were 2 pieces of paper to be filled with data in our house for the economic power and the usage of gas, petrol or firewood. I filled the data with the real condition in my house that we do not need any free gas or gas stove from the government because we have the capability. But then when my mother’s brother (simply, my uncle) came and checked them up, he said that I should not filled them that way or we will not received the free LPG and gas stove. When I argued that we do not need that and that was not our right, he told me that even the family who are more prosperous than us still received it. I told him that is not right. That day, the decision was, we will skip the opportunity.

The other day with about 1-2 months interval from the forms rejection, 2 other forms came to the house (fyi, the house inhabitants are holding two family group, Dad’s and Grandpa’s). The courier told us to submit them in the next day. The same act was done to not submit them so we will not accept the program in our house.

I do not know how, but yesterday I found 3 kg LPG in the kitchen and just this morning found the mini gas stove. So I asked my mom and she told me that we still received them though we did not asked to. I asked her to put it back and return them. But I still heard the resistant in her voice. To act the right here, in this case, will give you the image of hypocrite between people in the society. I guess that was why there still some resistant in her voice agreeing my suggestion.

What do you think? Can we really eliminate the corruption? The society said that they want the corruptor to get the dead penalty while in the same time they said that they want to cut their head off? In my opinion, the biggest contribution of corruption is not from the people who they called mice in tie (tikus berdasi, Bahasa term), but from the society who support these mice to corrupt with the expectation they will get benefits from it.

Gosh, when do we will really be a free independent nation?

I have heard the advertisement of the former President, Megawati Soekarnopoetri, about she built a team that generated a system to help the people of Indonesia in purchasing the daily primary needs (Sembilan Bahan Pokok -Sembako-) with more reachable price. Honestly I do not know what and how is the strategy but I assume that this team would not let the price of the sembako goes down and created suffers in the farmers’ side.

I am not a sympathizer of Megawati nor PDI P (Partai Demokrasi Indonesia Perjuangan) and there might be a cynicism toward her from me. It is because I am glad with today’s presidency and maybe this is another factor why I had the cynicism in the period of Megawati as a President back there. There was something that does not feel right that time. And why I explain this in the second paragraph because what I am going to bring here is more less contradicting her policy in this pre-campaign period to attract people vote for her.

Okay, so she has a strategy to help people who have no power to buy the sembako by reducing the price of it with some systems that will not bring another suffer in the farmers’ side. And when she will imply the strategy -what I perceived from the advertisement- is “When she won the election for President”. So, instead of delivers the strategy to the current government and help those who are in needs, she keep it for the campaign material and delay the strategy to be applied for her own presidency.

I am not sure I am going to vote her for the next President. Well, I am still learning about her policy with the team to bring reachable price of sembako and all I can say today is that she prolonged the condition which the advertisement mentioned 80% of the Indonesian people cannot survive with the price of sembako today. And I will put some more sources of other articles’ link about it and maybe mine (in case I proven perceived the advertisement wrong).

What dream?

Well, according to my previous post, “Is it still possible for me, Sir?“, about 4-5 days ago I got the chance to talk to my Financial Management lecturer, Mr. Zaenal Arifin, to get the substitute of the exam that I missed. And just now I was told by him that the substitution will be an oral exam!

So… well though it will be an oral exam, let me consider it as my Compre exam practice, I’m a lucky guy, right? He must be waiting for my shocked expression when I hear to his decision. And now here I am… wondering on what questions might arise.

So, the dream of taking Finance as my major is reachable!!! Hehehehe….

This lately time, I just realized that the lecturer around me are all (well, not all of them) so kind………. Thanks a lot, Sir!

Honestly, I’m afraid with the future of this country (d’oh what is it, buddy?). In the last couple days, I’m afraid that the kids are now being involved to what the adults think the kids need. “To help people with what they need, not with what you think they need” quoted from Chris Rock’s wife (Malaak something-forgot her name) in the premier show of Big Give. That was what brought me to this writing.

Just two days after the Obama’s winning event, a Kindergarten in Bandar Lampung brought the kids to the book store to hear the story and to dream the living of Obama when he was still in Indonesia. A group of junior high school students and their teacher made a collection of signatures in a cloth with their messages on how much they support Obama. And what I cannot believe to hear, they sang a song that adores Obama.

Now, is it pretty clear or I’m just being a paranoiac once again? These children of Indonesia were contaminated with the thoughts of irresponsible adults to adore some guy from US who ever lived in Indonesia in a short term and now is a President of US. A great achievement for Obama, I admit that myself. But these kids should get the thoughts of the greatness of our nations, our people, cultures and themselves.

They are now huge TV watchers and believe on it so much. And what I have found recently were that TV shows today are weakening the nationalism of the young generation. The disappointed testimonials and opinions of people for what our nation faces now made things worse.

Couple weeks ago, some students of elementary school made some writing in sheets of paper that they criticize the marriage of 12 years old girl with an adult. Now think (or imagine, whatever), do you really think that came from elementary school’s student to held it? I believe they were just driven by their teacher’s persuasion which has been proved works on kids. You may tell me it was an idea made by 10 years old girl to do it. Is that girl alright? A kid does not have to think about the marriage of 12 years old girl and how will it impacts her life. A kid should questions about what he can do to be the center of attention in class, or to be a hero like in the cartoon he watches every Sunday morning.

So now kids are tools to sounds the feelings of people who take the responsibility in their educational lives? I’m trying not to say yes to it. Those were just maybe a media for the teachers to teach the students about sympathy and faith of reaching something. But I cannot agree with that method they use. There are times and phase of growing people to digest and learn things. Not to force them with our faith, but to crystallize them with our big 5 ideology (what can be more beautiful than Pancasila?). To let them understand and perceive things with these ideologies, then guide them when they got lost or perceive from the wrong perceptions.

Men, I’m afraid that this country is impossible to be saved. I still have a faith that I will experience the glorious Indonesia in my lifetime. I believe that I was educated well and I believe it just about time when the youngsters show their teeth. But with these some events happened, will there be more people in the future who want to have their life abroad? Let us wish that Indonesia is the best life people could get in the universe tomorrow. Amien.

So, here is the case….

As a Management student, in the 5th semester we have to choose our concentration. There are four (Marketing, Finance, Human Resource, and Operational) and because the number of the students who took Management in the International Program (IP) UII is not “that” much, the only choices are Finance or Marketing. And to take a new major, Human Resource for example, we need at least 5 students to propose a petition to the office.

Well, since the number of IP Management student of my year is only 10 (I guess 1 is missing), there are only 2 choices… and most of them are about taking Marketing as their major! So the Finance, which is the major I want to take, is about to extinct! And what I do now is collecting  the students and pursue them to take Finance as their Major. And one of my friend instead of got persuaded, he pursues me to take Human Resource as my major… – -a This guy is damned!

Well, this day should be the day when I ask these students to take Finance as their major! But how can I ask them, me, myself just missed the Financial Management Mid Term! It is because I was misread the Schedule! And I knew it an hour late from the time when I should be in the class!

“There still chance,” I convinced myself, “I can ask Pak Zaenal Arifin (the Financial Management’s lecturer) to give me a private exam.”

So I dragged myself to the Jurusan Manajemen room and met him talking to umh…. a woman (sorry mam I cannot remember your name and your title). Nervously I tried to talk to him, “Umh… umh… ,Pak,” I was going to ask him in English but it doesn’t feel right with that woman sat down next to him.

“Apa…?” he replied with cynicism tone that made me much more nervous.

“Ugh…. saya barusan nggak ikut ujian Pak…. ” very nervous I was.

“Kok bisa….!” said the woman with intimidating tone. Ugh… these people were natural nervous bringers.

“Ugh… eh… salah baca jadwal, Bu”

“Nggak bisa…. kalau mau ikut ujian susulan alasan kayak bangun kesiangan…. salah baca jadwal…. kek gitu nggak bisa ikut ujian susulan. Yang boleh ikut ujian susulan itu yang sakit…. orang tuanya meninggal… itu baru dapat ijin ujian susulan… kalau salah baca jadwal gitu ya nggak bisa… atau tergantung dosen pengampu.”

“Dosennya saya ya?” said Pak Zaenal Arifin.

“Iya Pak…” that time, a lil relived feeling cause I saw a smile and better tone in what he said.

“Lho… harusnya pake bahasa Inggris dong. Kelas International kan?” said the woman.

“I’m about if you weren’t here!” in my mind of course.

“You can explain it after you calm down…. Cause now you look so nervous,” said Pak Zaenal.

“Well… ugh… okay sir… thank’s” then I went away from that room in shocked. I hate myself so much that time and I was about to break the fasting. Hooo… now I’m feeling better.

Just a wish, I hope Pak Zaenal will gives me that chance in the next time I explain why I missed the exam without nervous in my tone!

So, that is what I’m about to tell you…. bye…

It’s been couple days (maybe weeks) I do all the 5 times prayer. I know this is not a pride able achievement (if you let me call it so). But I never do all the 5 times prayer fully since I born. When I want to start do it as my daily activity, there always something that holding me up. Things like my view of my intention to do the sholah, they were never 100% pure to get God’s bless. And it made me canceling my intention. Now I realized that it was just an excuse for me not to do my obligation and my duty. By the way, wish me could keep this spirit until I’m gone.

So, what I’m going to tell you is my feelings about myself. There’s something doesn’t feel right here inside me. Well, couple weeks ago, I got problem of being deceived by my own friend. He was my trusted friend. How was the story, maybe will be posted in the next couple posts… I don’t know.

Back to the case, that betrayal made me paranoia to the people around me. Poor my friend, I felt that he kept me away from him and I replied with hates. I’m not sure whether he knew it or not, but I guess he sensed it and it made him giving some spaces between me and him. With my paranoia, I asked him for what I’ve done wrong to him and he replied that there were nothings wrong.

Twice I asked him and the range between the 1^st and the 2^nd brought me to worse paranoia level (you might found my hates in my Friendster’s Shout Out that time). I can sense his uncomfortable feelings when I asked him in the second time. Sorry dude! It wasn’t a nice conversation (since I force him to confess that he brought spaces in our relationship) really.

Then in the night, I don’t know what was happened, I prayed to the God, after my night prayer, to give me good friends, friends that I can trust on them. And in couple minutes I did thinking, I realized how I’m being paranoiac to my surrounding. And couple days ago, I’ve asked apologizes for any accuses I’ve done to my poor friend. Hopes he does forgive me.

But still, there is something doesn’t feel right about me. You know, now I do the 5 times prayer and I’ve asked forgiveness from my friend. Even at the time when I haven’t done those things, I felt that I’m already a good person. The truth (maybe this is too hyperbolic). Or is this indicate that now, I’m a better person? I hope so. Any advices?

Well, guess I never tell you about who I am and what I am. And this is my first private life writing in this blog. So here it goes.

I have a bad habit that is contradicts with my own opinion about people who heat the globe up. I spent about 1 to 2 liters of gasoline in a night when I felt wrong about my life (you can conclude it every night then). When I faced problems, being disappointed with some facts then I’ll need to cursing people, or just screaming the hell out (excuse me for the language).

But no, I can’t do that right? I live in Jogjakarta with the major citizens are Javanese. Javanese talk and solve their problems by discuss them politely and behave. I like that idea, but Javanese culture also made you use to keep problems in your own mind. And that’s sickening me out!

It is my dream to scream the hell out to people, to argue with them, to talk my problems with them and don’t give a sh*t about our future relationship. But each time I have the right moments to do it, I just can’t. I got bumped with the barrier of values in my own self.

And that’s how I budged those feelings to the spending-gasoline-activity. How did I spend those gasolines? I used them to burnt trees! Kidding! I like to drive around the city while listen to the music in my MP4 Player. And yes, I sang loudly along the road ignoring all the complaining ears of other drivers that overheard my voices. I guess there are lots of drivers who ever experienced on the same road with me can’t get the experiences away from their heads. It is because I do head movement on the road!

I know you are now about to consider me as a freak or a nerd. I don’t even give a damn f*ckin care about it! But those weird and freaky things help me think clearly and release all the imprisoned emotions deep in my heart. Oh yes, poor me!

Actually, I want to do walking on sidewalks while listening to the music (in my MP4 player, still). But I don’t know what to do during this walking and what to see. Also I don’t know where to leave my motor-cycle in a safe place. Actually I could leave it in my Campus then I can go with the Trans Jogja that near my Campus there’s 2 Bus Shelters to be mounted up. Still, I don’t know where to go and what to do.

Please gimme suggestions…… (Just a note, I don’t do window shopping and mall exploration)